“How do I know if EMDR is working?”
I’ve heard this question many times after years of being a practicing EMDR therapist. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy isn’t your typical talk therapy and that can be a shift for people who are used to verbally processing through all their stuff.
When I first started using EMDR with my clients I know I used to feel a small bit of panic when asked if it was really working. But now I welcome the curiosity! I want to help normalize the messiness of the process and educate on what signs to look for that signal the therapy is working. Sometimes EMDR doesn’t look or feel how people expect healing to look or feel at all.
How EMDR Works
EMDR is a structured and evidence-based modality of therapy designed to help people reprocess trauma, impactful experiences, and the emotional and somatic responses tied to them. EMDR therapy does this by using the brain’s natural information processing system through bilateral stimulation (like eye movements, taps, or sounds). EMDR doesn’t erase memories, but rather it helps to properly store memories so they don’t create distress in the present moment any longer. As a therapist, I am always so encouraged when the process unfolds for a client who has been holding pain for a long time. EMDR creates space for the body and brain to digest what it couldn’t hold space for before.
Okay so that’s the basics of EMDR. I want to share some of the ways you can explain the effects of EMDR to clients that have proven helpful for me over the years. Whether you are a new EMDR therapist who is looking for some language or just someone who might be curious about what it all looks like, these are four of the signs and signals that the process is creating relief:
#1 – Changes Start Showing Up Outside the Session
This can be the fun part to witness as a therapist. Here’s what I will share with clients: you start noticing changes in your daily life before you even realize they’re tied to the work we’re doing in session.
It might look like…
- Responding instead of reacting to a trigger
- Feeling neutral about something that used to send you over the edge
- Noticing less shame or inner criticism in your internal dialogue
- Sleeping through the night without the old recurring dream
- Reaching for a different coping strategy
These are often the first signs EMDR is working. And for clients I know they can feel anticlimactic at first. Trust me, clients will say things like, “I don’t know, I just didn’t care this time,” or “It felt…boring.” And I always smile when I hear that because boring is gold in trauma work. When the body doesn’t light up the way it used to, that’s the relief we are hoping for. Of course, as you go through the phases of EMDR with a client it is helpful to have check-ins on progress and intentionally notice the changes, but I love hearing the shifts happen in those seemingly small ways.
#2 – Your Nervous System Reacts Differently
I don’t know about you, but I did not grow up learning about the nervous system or how things in the external have such a great impact there. After going through grad school and years of sitting in the room with clients, you get a much deeper understanding of how an experience can create deep change to how the nervous system responds.
A key part of the client experience in EMDR is learning that your nervous system often leads the way. Long before your conscious mind says, “Hey I think I’m healed,” your body is already doing the work. The anxiety feels less sharp. The panic doesn’t stick around as long. The flashback feels more like a greyed-out memory and less like you are reliving it.
A great way to help explain the effects here with a client is to explore the triggers through a somatic lens. Asking a client what they noticed in their body before and after can create more cognitive awareness surrounding the shifts in the nervous system. If their heart rate didn’t increase, the shoulders didn’t get tense, or the client could stay present in the moment then that’s a huge sign of EMDR effectiveness.
#3 – Old Patterns Start to Change
EMDR isn’t just for trauma. A lot of times we are working through some really impactful events that create core beliefs and those beliefs shape a lot of how someone might show up in the world. After years of responding one way, these patterns can feel like part of your personality.
I’ve had clients who spent years avoiding conflict suddenly find themselves setting a boundary without panic. Others who had been stuck in rumination for a long time suddenly shrug things off like it’s no big deal. These aren’t quick fixes or something that talk therapy can shift overnight. These are truly the result of deep work that targets the root instead of just managing the surface-level symptoms. One of the most encouraging signs EMDR is working is when a client says something like, “I didn’t even realize I handled that differently until later,” or “I normally would’ve lost it, but this time I just didn’t.”
#4 – Memories Feel Less Charged
Part of the process in EMDR therapy is defining “targets” which tend to be experiences that are connected to what is creating distress in the present. When EMDR is working, the original memory you targeted might feel:
- Farther away
- Blurry or “greyed-out”
- Less emotionally intense
- Like “just something that happened”
Our brains are complex! Although EMDR is a structured form of therapy, there is an art to the practice as well as each individual client’s memory network is different. Some memories may feel resolved in one or two sessions. Others may need more sessions of reprocessing, especially if they’re linked to multiple experiences or core beliefs.
As a clinician, you will be noting a numerical value that helps to measure the decrease in distress and this will also help create clarity for a client who wants to understand the effectiveness of EMDR therapy.
What If It Doesn’t Feel Like It’s Working?
What’s the catch, right? I know that after years of practice not every client feels a dramatic shift right away. Healing with EMDR isn’t linear and sometimes the most meaningful work is happening between sessions, during sleep, or in the background of a normal Tuesday. BUT if a client feels stuck, here are some questions I ask:
- Are there other stressors or traumas that need to be addressed first?
- Do we need to revisit preparation or resourcing?
- Is the target memory clear enough?
- Does the client feel safe and regulated during the process?
Give yourself permission to adjust the pace or go back to stabilization. EMDR is most effective when we’re supporting the client’s system by moving at a pace that feels safe. Sometimes that means giving it more time. Sometimes it means getting creative with interventions. But the measure of success should hopefully always be about the client’s felt sense of change.
Healing Doesn’t Always Look One Way
I know there’s this idea that healing has to feel intense or emotional to be real. That you’ll know it’s working because you’ll have a big release or some kind of breakthrough. And trust me, EMDR totally brings those moments. One of the maybe strange things about EMDR is that you don’t have to share every detail of every experience you’ve had in order for the brain to help you heal the areas in need of some healing. So the big moments do come, but sometimes healing is just…less noise. Less tension in your chest when a certain memory comes up. Fewer hours spent overthinking. More moments where things feel neutral instead of heavy. It might feel underwhelming and yet these are signs that your system is doing something different.
Interested In Going Deeper?
If you’re a therapist or mental health professional who wants to get more confident in explaining EMDR to your clients or if you want to expand your skills in using it, that’s exactly why I created Mindemics. We offer clinical tools, EMDR certification, EMDR consultations, and resources that support healing with EMDR. Whether you’re looking to sharpen your understanding of how EMDR works or get support with stuck cases, we’re here to help. Learn more about EMDR and all we offer here!
